....but as I lie awake, unable to shake the fact that my India "To Do" list is, quite effortlessly, longer than my "Days to Go!" countdown, I have resigned myself to the fact that this is just the way it has to be. It is now 3am and, aware that I must surface at/around 6 to make it to work on time, I feel my only rational option is to not lull into that wonderful realm of sleep at all. I'm going to tell you things instead :)
Well my panic over the pre-departure briefing was, as I had hoped, unfounded. Things went really well :) It was definitely draining and I have to be brutally honest and tell you that I can't remember the details derived from many conversations about which exams we have just finished and which courses we hope to launch ourselves back into come September (glutton for punishment, anyone?) This weekend has taught me that I absolutely despise small talk in all it's crafty forms and that, if you want to provoke valuable interactions from 99 other people you've just met, you'd better come out with something a little more unique and a lot more interesting, and fast!
Beside that, this weekend was another great opportunity to reflect on where I might be going with all this fellowship excitement. I was definitely challenged, throughout the various workshops, meet-and-greet activities and trips to corporate placements, to give evidence that I had ideas and questions about society, the scheme, business, other cultures and my role as "Epic Culture Defender" (or Fellow..) that I could comfortably parade in any given situation. To my great horror, at times these details didn't just slip into and out of my head with the ease I would have liked; safe to say that, at this stage, simply making polished, generalised statements, such as "I think it's really important to understand different cultures" seemed rather inadequate. In particular, when asked how I would tell the story of my journey in an engaging and thought-provoking way, with a real purpose and progression to the tale, I came up a little lost.....
Lovely Fellowship Lady: "So, what would you personally want to research and tell people about?"
Tired and not-so-quick Millie: *Slightly blank pause*
LFL: "Do you have any ideas?"
TaNSQ M: "I do but I think they might not be appropriate for this.."
LFL: *Slightly dubious look, probably hoping to God this isn't just another smart-alec comment from some lazy teenager but waiting to hear the outcome anyway*
Me: "In general, I'm quite interested in peoples' sexual attitudes and their responses to issues such as sexual health, education, abuse and exploitation.....
I don't think I can ask my host family about that, can I?"
After a slight pause it was decided that, No, I couldn't, and that I would focus on weddings instead, as a trip to an Indian wedding party three years ago really sparked my interest in family values in India.
Equally our visit to HSBC in Canary Wharf was an eye-opener. It gave us a chance to discuss our perceptions of the business with one of the Top Dogs there and I really appreciated the opportunity to speak honestly about how I personally perceive banks, with someone who works in one of the top jobs there. I have always found it difficult to see what kind of impact banks can have in social terms, dealing with issues outside of finance. In previous years they have obviously needed to focus on the economic part of the world, as that is their job, however when they got that wrong in recently, leading to the recession, it did make me wonder, if they couldn't get the money right, how could we expect them to do something outside of their expertise, such as CSR. And this is what I told him when asked, as a group, whether we had heard anything "bad" about HSBC. To his credit, he answered all our questions in quite a down-to-earth way and had some very good things to say about what HSBC does in order to survive responsibly, but this part of the weekend in particular illustrated to me how precious it is to have the opportunity to voice your concerns to the people who get to make the most difference. Overall, this weekend reminded me of the importance of knowing your opinion and aspiration so that, when you get those rare opportunities, you can make the most of them and say what you mean.
